Well, it's technically Tuesday, isn't it?
Those of you who read my teases from my last attempt at this story may recognize some of this. The line I've reused is quite possibly my favorite line I've ever written. I just really like the image it gives me.
Avar has just explained what he and his brother and two cousins are doing in Paris; werewolves are being attacked because monsters half out of legend are not exactly in line with the new regime and its ways (ah, the Cult of Reason...). And Rose finds out they have a bit more in common than she might have thought.
A note: if this ever sounds rather less than historical, PLEASE tell me! For some reason I have no problem slipping into the speech patterns of someone from Victorian England, but have rather more trouble replicating an appropriate tone for Revolutionary France.
Enjoy!
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*snipped*
This is great! I love Rose and Avar hehe. Love it! :D
ReplyDeleteI still like what you have going here. The story is compelling, and the characters (even in snippets) seem real enough for me to care about them.
ReplyDeleteJust one suggestion:
I'd cut "into her lap". The important thing seems to be that she's putting up a brave front, but the description undermines that effort.
I really like this, and you're like the queen of third person. THIS IS LOVELY <3
ReplyDeleteI second Choco. You do third person really well. I like how the conversation flows between Rose and Avar :)
ReplyDeleteI find the characters compelling and in such a short snippet, I find myself really caring about them and the story! Love where this is going so far! You've nailed this great voice and it really works for third person!
ReplyDeleteKarla: Glad you like it!
ReplyDeleteAndrew: Thanks for the suggestion! I fixed it. :)
Meg: Queen of third person? Well, all right then. Thank you!
Bee: Thankee, I'm glad you like it.
Amna: Aw, thanks! :)