Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Teaser Tuesday: Unsent Letters

I actually had time to write yesterday! Before dinner, I had an hour where I just sat down and plunked out about a thousand words. It felt so good to get back into Letters to Oliver!

This segment isn't from yesterday's letter - I'm now having to skirt around giving you guys any major plot details, hehe - but it's kind of important. The last time I posted one of Emily's letters to Oliver it didn't go over particularly well, and I can't have these be boring. They might not have the whiz-bang magic factor, but they are pretty important. After all, that's what the title is.

So anyway, here's a snippet from Emily's last letter to Oliver; the first paragraph (not posted here) is when she tries to write him a letter he will actually recieve. Please tell me if it's boring, or if she's too whiny. Don't worry, she's getting a good kick in the pants soon. Yay for growing spines!




  1. Okay, the question is this: is she whiny in a lot of other passages? If no, then this is perfect. I get her frustration, her fears, and her sense of being helpless here. And, I like this passage (it brings up questios that make me want to read more) BUT if this is one of a slew of passages that all show these emotions it might come off as this girl being too whiny. But, i havent seen that in your other teases...which i love btw.

    Hope that helps! :) (although it may have been more commentary than you were looking for...if so, sorry about that!)

  2. hmm... I don't think it sounds too whiney. It would sound whiney if it was set in today's times, but back then that's just how people talked. And it felt very true to other historical stuff I've read, so I think you did a great job.

  3. I don't think she's whiney. I think it's just honest! I just get the feeling that she's very very lost and doesn't know where to turn.

  4. I didn't get a whiney sense -- I just was so impressed with the voice! I felt like the tone and the mood were believable. I really liked it <3

  5. Agreed with the others, I don't think she's too whiney here.
    One thing that did stand out to me though, was a bit of the repetition, in the first paragraph especially. In this passage: "there is no spell to undo my wretched situation, and no spell that will allow me the courage to write you. For some reason, it is like a spell which is missing a component" There just seemed to be one too many instances of 'spell.' Also, "cannot find" showed up a lot. But some repetition is good! Those are the only instances that I really noticed :)

  6. Your writing style always makes me FEEL as if I'm in a different time period. I love that. :D <33

  7. Drat - I had such a nice reply worked out and then it disappeared. Darn. Anyway.

    Karla: No, not too much commentary at all! Thank you! She does complain about a few things, but never to this extent, as she's afraid of worrying anyone with how miserable she is.

    Cheyanne: Thanks! I'm not sure the Victorians were whinier than we are, but I get your point. :)

    Liz: Okay, thanks. And she certainly is lost and scared!

    Lia: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

    Ellen: Thanks for pointing out the repetition! I've fixed it in my draft. :)

    Becca: Thank you! That is a huge complement.

  8. Yeah, I like the voice. And this is how someone sounds when they're trying to work something out on paper.

    Now I want to hear more about the magic!

  9. I really enjoyed the voice of your character. And no, she's not whiny at all.

  10. Oooh you already know I love the voice to any of your historical fiction pieces <333 I agree with everyone else. I didnt' get a sense she was whiny. Awesome tease!

  11. I agree 1000% with Becca, you have got the tme period lingo down. Nice work! :D

  12. Jill: Glad it sounds that way! I'll get back to the magic. ;)

    Allicatt: Yay for voices! Glad you liked it.

    Karla: Thanks! And huzzah for not whining.

    Annie: Haha, thanks! :)

    Thanks for all your comments, everyone!

  13. Doesn't sound whinny to me. You've acurately conveyed how she feels, and I think anyone in her shoes would write pretty much the same thing. Lovely tease ;)